pragmatism vs. romantasism

i dont know how to start this, and would not like to waste time explaining it. im already ahead of myself trying to think of 7 and i must write them down before they slip away.

1. at almost seventeen, im very confused as to where i stand religiously. secular ideas and my romantic belief in something higher are almost equally balanced, although i do know where the scale is headed. even in the previous sentence as a describe higher belief as 'romanitic' i can feel the scales tipping. a year ago maybe two years i would have said God without hesitation, but now i have absolutlely no faith in the organizied religion Christianity. some of this has come from the fact that it has been heavily pushed on me most of my life (and i know some people would say the same, but i would like to belive that i have more reason then most) and i did, i ate it up for the first half. then however pragmatism kicked in and i began to see things diffrently. i also have drawn many lines from people i dont respect, back to Christianity. people who i dont let become more then aquaintences, athority figures, republicans who warp peoples minds by regurgitating back onto them scripture, that the people can not even quote back themselves, but sadly they absorb it. religion in my eyes in some ways is an added handle another way for someone to take advantage of them. however i have not become uninterested in other religion, in fact it has made me far more curious, and has revealed how little i know about other religions. i spent this winter break reading a few books, one of which being Religious Literacy by Stephen Prethero (for the most part engaging and informative). for now i think i do belive in a higher power, it was explained to me this way: you can trace backwards pretty far, as far back as two atoms, some lightning, and an expanse of space. but at some point you have to stop. where did the atoms come from? what about the lightning? what is this expanse? where did it come from? what is life? love?
i think to live as moral of a life as i can, is the best i can do and not to worry about after, later, ending.




after writing one my brain is still buzzing, but i think i would like to do this in sections. i enjoy writing and i enjoy learning about myself as i write. there is just one but i rambled, and i have a feeling i will ramble and would like to ramble about the rest.


-thank you matt

i absolutely love learning about myslef, as wierd as that sounds. >>>Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively.

Right Brain

80%
Left Brain

32%

Cheese is milk's leap towards immortality. -Clifton Fadiman

stance

pools of her own soul
balenced in collar bone canyons
prepared to brim over at the slightest curve of posture
backbone held by twisted threads
barbed wire of the social order
pulled forward and upward
where from here?
shes not so sure yet, but shes not moving till she does

i dont think ive ever read more in my life. another day locked in the barnes and noble, :) and before i noticed 4 hours had gone by. my mom becoming a librarian is really having an effect on me, im becoming such a geek. i dont really mind though.

still to read ->

i might as well enjoy the stereotype as its sticking, i need new glasses. i admit to losing my nice new pair yet am not sure as how to break this to my parents.

i love this picture
i want to learn how to read hands

click click click

i want a new camera that i can do more with. i bought a nice digital one over christmas but i was thinking one of these or a polaroid one off ebay.
oh by the way anyone know how much polaroid film costs normaly?




Holga Camera by Lomography $70.00

The Holga, a lightweight super-simple plastic camera, complete with plastic lens, was developed in 1982 as a cheap, knock-a-round camera, and has since been adopted around the world as a cult favorite for its unpredictable effects, like blurred edges, other-worldly colors and light leaks. Perfect for random point-n-shoot action or intense experimentation.

Color Splash Camera by Lomography $75.00

Seriously easy to use point and shoot camera, with long exposure capability and patented color wheel system to shade your photos, plus 9 extra color filters that you can mix and match. Uses normal 35mm film and processing; includes carrying bag.

Actionsampler Camera By Lomography $60.00

We know you live a life of nonstop action. Capture it all with the Actionsampler, which takes 4 continuous mini shots in rapid fire (all on the same photo). Includes a built-in flash that can be set to go off with all 4 shots.

EDIT

i ended up getting this camera (Nikon N55) for my photojournalism class and i loveeee it.

citrus and long night free writes

mr. perfection

mr. perfection
your familiar but she doesn’t know you
she catches glimpses though
and holds them as prized possessions
in hope that your there
a disappointment however
she is sure to find

mr. ideal
she will wait but glance her way
because with high heels and low standards
she is not sure what to look for
so its been fantasy or two week commitments
and with contradiction being the subtlest spiritual force
the truth reveals itself
and it stings a little
to know your no where near